BITTER WATERS, LLC IN PARTNERSHIP WITH PARA ADUMA ENTERPRISES
IS PROUD TO OFFER OUR LATEST BIBLICAL PRODUCT
After 3000 years of painstaking research at our Laboratories in Meah Shearim,Jerusalem, we have perfected the Famous Biblical Truth potion which will be offered under its registered trademark, "Sotah Water" (tm). Our latest product from the Holy Land is being distributed after our the Initial Public Offering of our stock which was underwritten by the newest investment banking firm of Aryederi, Ovadyosef and Cheatemandhowe .Their presence on the Tel Aviv Stock Exchange added a semblance of honesty, formerly reserved only for God's Orthodox Political Parties.
"Sotah Water" (tm) is a sparkling mixture of ancient ingredients derived from a 2000 year old Sheep Parchment discovered in a Cave in Qumran near the Dead Sea. Our resident archeological Sage, Rabbi Yechezkel Zaltzunfeffer has confirmed the authenticity of this parchment, which was discovered atop the skeleton of a woman. The ancient Hebrew letters clearly indicate that this artifact was definitely used in the Sotah Trial By Ordeal Ceremony. This is the translation:
Here lies a Wicked Lady, Suspected of Illicit Sex
We adminstered the rite and gave her the Hex.
Her belly split open like a packed sack of corn
Her Husband was happy, he remarried the next morn.
"Sotah Water"(tm) can be offered by all Orthodox Bais Din of Competent Jurisdiction to address the pressing needs of Ultra- Orthodox husbands whose suspicions have been arroused by their wives.
So if you suspect that your wife :
. Has been spending to much time with the local Shochet and providing you with cold suppers,
. Has not laundered your tallis in months but finds time for extended shopping trips to the local Super Sol
. Takes the scenic route to the Mikva with the same cab driver every month,
. Spends Mitvah Nite studying the laws of Jewish Mourning, rather than fulfilling her conjugal duty ...
Then its time that you consult with your local Ultra Orthodox Rabbi to convene a Sotah trial!
Yes friends, the moment has come reinstitutionalize the tenets of our Holy Torah.
Do not allow your house to become the haven of a harlot. See Your Rabbi and tell him about "Sotah Water"(tm) now !!
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