It is with great stress, emotional and physical fatigue

and incredible financial sacrifice beyond comprehension,

 that we invite you to join us as our wonderful son

 Jacob Adam

 is called to the Torah as a Bar Mitzvah.

 Saturday, May 12th - (yes we realize it's Mother's Day Weekend)

 Temple Israel

 14 Coleytown Road

 Westport, Connecticut 06880

 at the ungodly hour of 9 am

Even though you don't really need to be there  until 10:20am to catch the real action.
  
 If you make it through the 3 hour service,

 please skip the kiddush (it's just cookies and cake)

and join us instead  for the ostentatious evening meal (Kosher, my husband's idea),

which starts at 7 PM, (not 8 PM.. or you will miss out on the 2000 canapes).
  
 Birchwood Country Club

 25 Kings Hwy S

 Westport, CT 06880

 (which we had to join just for this event  and you would not believe the initiation fees)

 Please have the courtesy of showing up if you RSVP that you are

 attending, or you will be billed for $210.00 a plate if you are a

 no-show.  Please RSVP as soon as you get this and not a day before the

 cut-off date.  I can't take the stress.
  
 The gift of choice is either green, or contains a routing and account number.

 Hope you can make it!   Lisa and David Miller

  
 Dress: Black Tie optional

 Theme: 007 James Bond

 Kippot and Matching Eye Patch will be provided