Did I tell you about the time I was the world's greatest ventriloquist? I was going out to California for a gig and my car broke down in Arizona. Luckily, I was in front of a garage. I pushed it in and the guy said that it was nothing and it would be fixed in about an hour. He told me to take a walk and see the sights and the car would be ready by the time I get back.
So I went for a walk and I saw this Indian riding a horse with a dog trotting behind and a sheep trotting behind the dog.
So, since I'm the world's greatest ventriloquist, I say to myself, let me fuck with the Indian.
I says, "Hey Chief, can I talk to your horse." He gives me a funny look and says, "Horse no talk.
So, I'm giggling to myself because I'm the world's greatest ventriloquist and I throw my voice to the horse and I ask, "Hey, Scout, what's it like living with the Indian?" The horse says, "It's not so bad. He's not too heavy. He doesn't ride too fast. He's a pretty good Indian."
The Indian gives me a strange look and says, "Have horse long time. Never know horse talk."
So, I'm still giggling to my self and I say, "Can I talk to your dog?" The Chief says, "DOG no talk".
I'm still laughing to myself and I ask the dog, "Hey, Fido, what's it like living with the Indian?"
The dog says, "Oh, he's not too bad. We sit in the teepee in front of the fire. The squaw's got big tits and she holds me tight. They're pretty good Indians."
By now the Indian is totally bewildered and says, "Have dog long time. Never know dog talk."
Now I'm really busting a gut and I say, "Hey Chief, can I talk to the sheep?
Chief: SHEEP LIE!
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