"And Reuben went in the days of wheat harvest, and found
     DUDA'IM in the field, and brought them unto his mother Leah. Then
     Rachel said to Leah, Give me, I pray thee, of thy son's DUDA'IM.
     And she said unto her, Is it a small matter that thou hast taken my
     husband? and wouldest thou take away my son's DUDA'IM also? And
     Rachel said, Therefore he shall lie with thee tonight for thy son's
     DUDA'IM. And Jacob came out of the field in the evening, and Leah
     went out to meet him, and said, Thou must come in unto me; for
     surely I have hired thee with my son's DUDA'IM. And he lay with
     her that night. .. And afterwards she bare a daughter, and called
     her name Dinah."
                          Genesis 30:14-17,21

       When Leah told Jacob how she had "hired" him that night, he
became angry with her because he did not relish being with her in that
way this night. Since the time that she and her father had deceived him
on their wedding night, Jacob had borne her deep resentment. To be sure,
there were times when he did come to her tent to lie with her, but those
were times when he did his conjugal duty as a Hebrew husband to
impregnate her so that she would bear him sons. Never had felt any real
passion for Leah, not that same intense heated passion that Rachel was
always able to rouse in him no matter how distracted or tired he
might be.

       For he had fallen in love with Rachel at first sight that day
when he first encountered her at the well in Aram, and had stood up for
her against the shepherds whose wont it was to intimidate her by their
manhood, thereby watering their own animals while she had to patiently
wait till they were done before watering her own. She had been so
gratefull for his protective attentiveness, and so taken by the very
strength of his presence that she had kissed him full on the lips. For a
woman to act so with a man in public was not considered the essence of
feminine modesty but Rachel, ever head-strong and impestuous, did not
care what people thought. She recognized immediately that this was the
man that was to marry her and give her children who would grow into
great tribes among their people. And so she gave him drink and patiently
watered his camel before watering her own animals, and she brought him
home and introduced him to Lavan her father. Jacob, for his part, also
cleaved to Rachel's soul and asked her father for her hand in marriage.
Lavan agreed to the marriage but on the very wedding night, he fooled
Jacob. After the groom had become drunk with wedding wine and had
retired to the bridal tent, Leah was brought to him, in darkness, her
face veiled, feigning to be her sister Rachel, while Rachel had had no
other choice but to be obedient to her father and remain silent as she
watched the farce being played out. Then the next morning, when the
deception was discovered, and Jacob confronted Lavan, he was told that
just as he had decieved his own father by playing the elder child to
receive the first born's blessing, so now had deception been done to him
that the elder daughter should play the part of the younger to receive
him as husband. Jacob agreed to work for Lavan for fourteen years only
in order that he might gain the hand of Rachel as his second wife, and
he had been faithfull to his agreement. Yet though Leah might be the
first wife she was not the loved one. As Jacob never forgave Lavan for
the deception, so Rachel never forgave her sister for her part in the

       And now, he had been the husband of both sisters all these many
years, Leah being the hated wife and Rachel the loved. Many nights were
filled with bliss in the tent of Rachel as though they wished to to make
up to each other for that first wedding night of deceit. Rachel was
beautiful, and knew well how to move Jacob's heart and loins with
passion. Leah was simply an unattractive woman who had to bear the
sorrow of loveless nights and loveless sex with the husband that she
loved just as deeply as Rachel. Even though El Shaddai had been gracious
to her in opening up her womb more than Rachel's, still Jacob's obvious
disinterest in her as a lover drove her to the depths of sadness.

       Now, tonight, she had Jacob to herself, and although he did not
wish to be with her, she had made her mind up that she would do all she
could to please him so that he might love her just a little more. She
did not hope much but she loved him and he was here in her bed.

       Leah had prepared Jacob's favorite foods and given his favorite
wine to drink, and she had annointed herself with fragrances that she
knew he loved, those same with which Rachel drove him insane with loving
passion. She had used all the feminine secrets that she knew to make
herself appealing to him, and she had cast the tent in semi darkness so
that he might not have to look full on her unattractiveness. Her body was
still firm and slim, and her skin soft and tight despite the fact that
she had borne several children, and she accentuated these with cleverly
worn clothing, concealing and revealing enough to stir a man's desire.
In the darkness, lying next to him, and he with mind beset with wine,
she might hope that the first night, when he imagined her to be Rachel
and his ardor was strongly aroused and demonstrated, that she again
might create the illusion in him that she was the loved wife, and not
the dull, "weak-eyed" woman he saw when he looked at her in full

       And so, as he lay upon his back, thinking passively, and with
unconcealed disinterested resignation to allow her to do whatever it
was that she wished to do, she bent to him tenderly and kissed his lips,
touching his face with her palm, and whispering his name to him. He
looked away and she could see that he was tired and wished for it to be
finished but she did not let that daunt her. "Can you not love me, my
husband, not even for one night?", she asked sadly. He turned and looked
at her, his eyes narrowing, trying to catch her expression in the
darkness. "You are your father's daughter", he replied cooly. "Both of
you deceived me. I did not love you then. What cause do you think there
is for me to love you now? I only do a husband's duty." Leah held back
the tears. She responded, "Let the cause be this: that we have been man
and wife these many years, and I have borne you fine sons."
"While the wife that I love has been cursed by Heaven with barrenness",
he unkindly said. She placed her hands on his shoulders and kissed his
face through the tears that welled up, and said softly to him, "I am not
El Shaddai. I did not bring a curse upon her, nor did I pray for one to fall
upon her but only that my own womb might answer your seeding of me with
children." He nodded. "Yes, you have given me fine sons." She smiled
now. "Oh that I might give you more", she continued, "as many as the
stars of heaven if that were possible. I ask only that if you cannot
love me, do not hate me. For I have borne your hatred for my deception
many long years, and my soul is heavy with lack of your love."
Now she wept openly and threw her arms around his waist, resting her
head upon his chest. "I am sorry", she whispered in the dark. "Please
forgive this foolish woman. I did not intend to weep so but I am sad
that you will not love me."

       Jacob looked down at her head upon his chest and his hand
instinctively came up to rest upon her head as he felt the softness of
her loosened hair. She looked up at him, pleading in her eyes. "If
only for this one night, Jacob, you could love me - the way that I
desire you to love me - the way you love HER ... " She was unable to
say her sister's name. "Just this one night, and it shall be
sufficient. I shall know that I am forgiven for deception." She did
not wait but took his face within her hands and kissed him hard upon
the lips and followed that with short passionate kisses about his face
and neck. "Let me be Rachel again tonight. Just this one night,
please, my lord!", she begged. "For my heart goes to you in love and I
ask forgiveness in the embrace here in my bed, forgiveness that i have
not heretofore asked of you. Only forgive me now and I shall be Rachel
tonight, and it shall be enouygh." She did not wait for his reply. Her
hands now eagerly slipped into his robe and she carressed his chest
and his stomach, all the while saying his name over and over. "Jacob
my Jacob, my very own man, my husband, I love you Jacob. Love me!" He
began to stroke her hair almost against his will, his hands moving
without his thinking. As her hands undid his clothing, she asked that
he remove hers. Again his hands moved witout his will and he found
himself undressing his wife, this hated wife who never moved his
manhood, yet now - something new - a new feeling that he himself could
not understand.

       Now they lay naked against each other. She placed his arms
around her waist and her own around his neck. Pressing her cheek aginst
his, she moved under him and said, "My husband, enter me now. Although
we have not touched and played, I am ready to receive you, and I feel
that you are ready to enter me. Give me your man's love fluid so that it
may fill me and give me life. The same unknown force moved him.
Silently, without a word, he mounted her and entered, so effortlessly
that he amazed himself at how wondefully perfect they fit together.
Still he tried to hold back. Still he tried to feel the unlove for her
that was his wont to feel - yet he found that he was unable to harbor
any feeling of ill-will toward her now. He felt his own arms tightening
about her as they moved and rocked together. Her hands carressed his
face and his ears and his neck as she felt the intensity rise within his
body. His breathing was heavy now - and rapid and he began to pant and
moan. Her legs flew up and encircled his torso, holding him fast against
her. "I will not let you go now Jacob. Tonight you are MY own husband!
Oh Jacob, if Esau found it within his heart to forgive you for your own
deception, can you not find it within yourself to forgive me? Can you
not let me be your wife even tonight? If not Leah, then let me be
Rachel, only tonight!" She wept with him in her embrace, feeling him
deep within her body.

       Then suddenly, he felt himself gain control even as he began to
surrender control. But in that moment, he himself, with his own power,
embraced Leah tightly, and thrust hard. "No!", he screamed. "Not Rachel.
Not tonight!" Thorugh deep breaths he cried, "Tonight you have bought me
with DUDA'IM." A sudden rush of love for her overcame him as the
realization overcame him how much this woman in his arms loved him and
how through long years she had suffered his animosity, and he loved her,
suddenly deeply, loved her with all his heart. "You are Leah", he
whispered as he held her ever more tightly, "No, not Rachel; you are my
beloved Leah! You bought me with DUDA'IM, and won me with loving."
"Then you forgive me?", she asked as the instensity grew to peak.
"Yes!", he answered passionately, "And I beg you to forgive me for not
being a loving husband to you."  She embraced him tightly and held him,
and he her.

       Later he fell asleep but she remained awake, holding his head
against her breast. And the spirit of prophecy descended upon her, there
where she lay. She looked and she saw.

       And this is what was shown to her. Jacob, her husband, would
never lie with her again as he had lain with her this night, in the
embrace of loving intimacy. For he would return to Rachel's bed, and
Rachel would know what he had felt with her sister, and therefore she
would never "buy" Leah's DUDA'IM a second time, nor any other thing that
pertained to Leah. Neither would the relationship between the two
sisters be cordial anymore, for their jealousy of each other, regarding
Jacob, was fierce, engendering a begrudging meanness in each for the
other (and therefore, in years to come, the Torah would forbid a man to
marry a woman and her sister together). Yet Leah saw that she would lie
with Jacob in a much more profound way, for she would ultimately lie at
his side eternally, in death. For Rachel would be taken away from her
husband in childbirth (for HaShem giveth and He taketh away, blessed be
His Name), and be eternally parted from Jacob in death, to lie alone in
waiting at the place of messiah's birth, all the while bewailing the
fate of her children at Esau's hands, and at Ishmael's. Leah, she the
hated one who had deceived Jacob, would be buried at his side in the
cave of Machpelah.

       Yet El Shaddai would give her one more child of Jacob, a daughter,
the fruit of this night of loving, Dinah by name. Her name, meaning
Judgement, would be the signpost pointing to that Day on which Heaven
shall pass sentence upon the quick and the dead.

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