Robert Dunn is the worldīs leading producer of Robert Dunn poems, and rightfully so. Mr. Dunn is a government drudge on odd-numbered days, and Executive Editor of Medicinal Purposes Literary Review on even-numbered days. His books include Zen Yentas in Bondage (Cross-Cultural Literary Editions, Inc., Merrick, New York, 1997; Playing in Traffic (Founderīs Hill Press, Alexandria Virginia, 2000), and Horse Latitudes
(, 2003).

Faust´s Consolation

The nice thing
About Hell
Is that the deeper
You are condemned
The more women's skirts
You can look up.

Goddess Great, Goddess Good, Goddess Quite Misunderstood

I was sitting atop Mount Olympus, surrounded
By goddesses … well, they claimed they were goddesses—
I really ought to be more careful checking their IDs
And resumes …  I was sitting atop Mount Olympus,
Trying to mind my own business, but
Every so often the temptation would overwhelm me
And I would turn to one of these alleged goddesses
And say, “Hey, babe. How´s about working
A little miracle, hah? I´d love to see something
Take my breath away around here besides the altitude.’
The response was always the same: a fit of giggles
And a furious rustling of the latest scandal sheets,
Usually the National Twiddler, or some such—
Talking about Alpha Smith or Omega Miller or
Zeta Jones. And no magic—never any magic—
They won´t even do [any] magic any more, snarling
“We´re goddesses, not trained seals. You want magic,
You go watch that delivery boy hauling up and down
The mountain every week with the Twiddler—Hey!
Here he comes now!—Schweinhundt! Vhere iss
Der comics section? And what wiseapple filled in
Der Crossvurd of the Shtars?!?!’
Well, I guess if I want magic, I´m going to
Have to do it myself, which would be okay, except
I´m all magicked out from all the insubordination—
I guess I spent too many schooldays watching
I Dream of Jeannie (whatever happened to her, anyway?)
When I was a kid. At least, now I understand why
So many modern men pray for flight attendants—
This goddess stuff is for the birds.

Goddess of Chocolate

Cacao was the Greek Goddess of Chocolate,
More dangerous than the Gorgon, Medusa, more
Seductive than the Singing Sirens; holding sway
Over sweet tooths ... er … teeth, diabetes, acne,
Chocoholism, and other such sinful pleasures.

Cacao would appear with caramel, or almonds,
Or peanuts, or those little puffed rice thingies …
As the occasion demanded. She aimed to please,
At least until her victims were hooked. Zeus
Pater himself once tried to force himself on Cacao,

Appearing to her as a cup of hot chocolate,
Demanding that she give his some “sugar,’
Shall we say? But she saw through that one
Immediately. He later tried the same stunt
Disguised as a chocolate Easter bunny, as

Engaging an attempt at multiculturalism as I´ve
Ever heard. But Cacao wasn´t buying—there
Would be no Leda and the Swan fol-der-rol
Around her, thank you very much. Zeus
Should have tried another flavor—even he

Could not beat a goddess at her own game. It
Was left to Aries to bag her, after some bacchanalia
Or other where she was so flushed with the grape
She could not recognize him as a relative—so nine
Months later, Cacao gave birth to a Mars bar.

How Precedents Are Set

When Adam divorced Lillith (the one
Before Eve), she demanded half
The Garden in her settlement. “I cannot

Give you that,’ sighed Adam. “We
Are not Owners here. We´re renters.’
He thought a moment. “But I can

Offer you custody of the snake.’
Lillith thought it over, and took the snake.
She retrained it, gave it a new nose,

A fang job, taught it some new tricks,
And later, at a critical juncture
In the narrative, turned it loose on Eve.

If Adam had been a better lawyer, he
Would have known the First Rule
Of Divorce is: Never give anything away.

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