SAUCER? NAW, SIR!

I don't know what you saw, sir, but you never saw a saucer,
Naw, sir - no saucer!
It should be against the law, sir for you to claim a saucer!
I think may be a balloon or the Northern Lights in June,
But don't sing me that tune about a saucer!
Naw sir, no saucer!

Don't you think it rather silly for a space ship willy-nilly,
Sailing light years from Antares
To settle down outside of Philly in a pasture full of mares?
Ignoring all the seven wonders, Cape Canaveral and thunders
Of our space shots seeking Mars?
Seeking outward to the stars?

Grabbing little red neck maids going fishing in the glades;
Sitting spook like on the fenders,
Trying to deduce the genders of the lovers' lane contenders
In the wilds of Tennessee?
Naw, sir, I'm not buying a saucer!

Stomping down the wheat in Britain, leaving kings and senates sittin'
While they mutilate a kitten in some Oklahoma barn?
Listen to yourselves!
Pointy headed alien creatures abducting love starved old maid teachers,
Southern red necks, snake cult preachers;
Traveling googol miles through space
To visit Daisy Mae and Paw in Owl Shit Junction, Arkansas?
Stop trying! I'm not buying!

When they come with jets of thunder (as would we)
Then will I in awe and wonder strain to hear them when they greet
The Oval Room and Downing Street.