TE DEUM TEDIUM

Francis Arlington Feldman
Was twenty-three years old and queer as a crutch.
Not that you could tell very much by looking,
Because Francis possessed few
Of the classic gay markings,
But Francis Arlington knew,

And most of his friends,
And for about one hundred of the army's finest
It was true, and eventually
The Army and the Pentagon
And the Joint Chiefs did too.

The Joint Chiefs, feeling themselves
The Protectors and Assigns
Of the morals of America's military sons,
Were primly shocked that sexual proclivities
Might adulterate the purity
Of their knowledge of guns,
Hand grenades, flame throwers,
And/or military security.

The Army, therefore, under terse instruction,
"For the good of the Service-"
And with little ruction,
Returned Feldman, Francis Arlington, Private,
To his place of induction.

Splash, said the river, just that and no more.
It wasn't even a big splash -
The ripples never reached the shore.

George Martin