The Woman Who Made Everyone Wrong
December 6, 2010
Cybl Porter was a witch, literally a witch. She was able to effect miracles, or at least she believed she was able. As such, she believed she was in contact with the Celtic horned god Dryghtyn or as the Romans called him, Cernunnos. Cybl sang to him, danced to him, and even wrote poems to his glory. But her lord Cernunnos did not respond to her as she had wished, and her life continued on the downward spiral which was her history.
Cybl had a very traumatic childhood, and perhaps this gave her no confidence in humanity to be dependable as a friend or as an ally. And therefore she finally came to make God and dog her only trusted friends? Spell god and dog backwards and they come out to the same thing. They are not fellow human beings who can turn on you without warning. And why shouldn't they? If they are not for Christ, they are for his enemy, the Adversary, and the Adversary's disciples.
When Cybl was just a little girl of four, she saw her father shoot her mother. She also witnessed her father kill her favorite horse with a pitchfork, after which he shot and killed himself. She became an orphan brought up by her grandparents.
She went through two unsuccessful marriages. Then though a series of unsuccessful relationships during one of which she became pregnant. But she would not have the child, and because she actually believed that she had been impregnated by a demon, she underwent an abortion.
Her life spiraled downward. She became involved with prostitution and drugs. When she hit bottom, there was nowhere to go.
Then one day, she realized that Cernunnos must be Satan. From that moment, her life changed and she came under the anointing grace of the other lord, Christ.
From that moment on, Cybl removed herself from the co-operative community of mankind. And why? Because it occurred to her that her new way was the ONLY way to truth and salvation.
It was after her second husband passed away that she met Stan on an online dating site. Stan had made the incorrect assumption that Cybl was Jewish because in her profile she stated that she enjoyed relaxing on SHABBAT. However when they finally spoke, Cybl revealed that she was not Jewish but "messianic."
For those of you who don't know, Christian messianism, which began as Jewish messianism and evolved away from its initial Jewish expression, is a Protestant sect drawing Pentecostal enthusiastic types. It is basically Pentecostalism dressed up with Jewish costuming with churches staged set to look like Jewish places of worship. Yet it is in no way Jewish. Its forms of worship are completely alien to Judaism and the congregants know practically nothing about Jews or Judaism.
Cybl told Stan that she was drawn to his passionate nature "as a moth to a flame." Naturally this appealed to Stan's ego [which was open to all], and when they met for the first time, they embraced for a whole weekend.
She told Stan that she was not out to change or convert or change him. As a matter of fact, she said, she wanted him to teach her about Jewish "things of the spirit." Again, his ego got the better of him, and he lovingly thought that he could be a religious mentor to her. Stan fell in love with Cybl and the first months of their love affair were happy. But love is blind and blinds him who will not see.
The first ten months of their affair were wonderful. Late winter, spring, summer, and early fall were like a dream. Cybl and Stan spent wonderful weekends together. Stan even accompanied her to church services when he was in her city because it was the loving thing to do.
But Cybl often displayed behavior that caused Stan extreme discomfort. Two incidents would always stand out in his mind.
They were driving on a road that passed a certain town in central Ohio when suddenly Cybl asked Stan if he was able to smell the sulpher. He stated that his sense of smell was never very developed and asked what the sulphuric odor was. She told him that the place which they were passing was a gateway to Hell, that there must be a fissure in the earth from which demons arose and that the area was demon-filled. Stan had an urge to stiffle a laugh but instead he asked her why, if demons existed, that he never saw one. Cybl asked if he was mocking her. He said he was not mocking because a man who loves a woman does not mock her. he explained that he was only joshing in good fun.
But this type of incident became more common. What began to bother Stan was Cybl's obvious unwillingness and refusal to tolerate or respect contrary opinions or beliefs that conflicted with her own fundamentalist persuasions. She saw all other denominations, especially Christian ones, as confessions of the diabolic. Churches, crosses, Christmas, Easter, and many more icons of religion as pagan, and hence, Satanic. Stan often argued with her about this. He pointed out that relgious bigotry was alien to him. He had been brought up to believe that the American attitude ought be that all faiths were to be respected. Secondly, he pointed out, all aspects of current civilization rested on the past. Our art, music, science, math rested on the art, music, science, math of previous civilizations - so why not religion? he pointed out that the Christmas tree may once have been pagan - but now it was Christian. These arguments did not move her. She remained silent in the face of his "explanations" but secretly the fact that he was actually contradicting what she believed bothered her more and more.
The second indicent which made him lose respect for her happened as follows. There was a woman in her church named Michelle to whom Cybl took an instant dislike. Actually in her telling this to Stan, there was nothing that the woman had done to her personally, and from the hearing of it, it seemed like Michelle had not doen anything negative to anyone in the church. But she somehow had gotten under Cybl's skin and Cybl began to gossip about her to other congregants. She said that Michelle must be gay because she wore her hair short. She added that Michelle seemed to be haughty and ignored people. Ultimately the gossip came back to haunt her when the church minister called her to account. he told Cybl that the backbiting had to cease and that she and Michelle had to go into a private room and iron out the problem. Michelle said that she had no problem with Cybl. But the minister reminded her that rergardless of Michelle's lack of animosity, so long as gossip was in the church, there WAS a problem. Cybl and Michelle did have a private talk. Michelle said that she was not gay but that she kept her hair short because it was idfficult to manage. In regard to her demeanor, she said that she did not know how to relax around people and that her life was informed by the fact that her parents had died when she was very young. Cybl was unmoved. She answered, "So what? My parents also died when I was young. "
Stan was astounded. He confronted Cybl. "You mean", he said, "that the woman tried to straighten out the difficulty between you two and you just about spit in her face? You're lucky she didn't haul off and punch you! I know people who would beat you for less than the disrespect you show Michelle." The words fell on deaf ears. As always, Cybl had to be right, and she could only be right by making others wrong.
And she soon began to make Stan wrong.
In the beginning, Cybl had made the declaration to him that she was not out to change or convert him. But as the year drew to a close, Cybl became more deeply involved in her religious beliefs and her promise not to try to convert Stan to her messianic sect fell apart. Cybl became increasingly irritated by Stan's refusal to accept her Christian savior as his Jewish messiah and all that that would imply. The aspect of his Jewishness which had initially attracted her began to be an emotional burden to her and she expressed her exasperation to him in very unflattering, in fact, insulting terms. By December she made it clear that she was emotionally withdrawing from him.
A critical moment occurred when Cybl refused, in spite of his pleas, to come and spend New Years Eve with him because New Year that year fell on a Saturday, the Sabbath. Try as he might to convince her that new Years Eve is a night for lovers and that he wanted to be with her and kiss her the moment that the ball dropped at midnight, she steadfastly refused to budge, telling him that she would come to him on Saturday afternoon. But Stan was so angered by her obvious discounting of his feelings that he told her to stay home. He had no wish to see her that weekend.
The next day, Saturday, still feeling somewhat wounded, he sent her an email in which he suggested that she look for a new boyfriend in her church so that religion would no longer either of them. Yes, he loved her still but he realized that the relationship could only deteriorate from this point on.
Cybl bristled at this suggestion, telling Stan that if he left her or her church, she could no longer pray for him. Stan angrily told her that he was not leaving her church since he was never a part of it; that it never had any appeal to him, religiously or esthetically. He told her that when he did go with her to services, it was merely as her escort. After that Saturday New year Day, the end of their relationship was a foregone conclusion. The only thing to be determined was who would say goodbye first, something at which Stan was not exceptionally or even nominally good.
The relationship dragged on for another half year when Cybl ended it by doing something deceitful and mean.
Stan had come home that week from a trip to see his family in a different city. He had not seen Cybl for almost a month and looked forward to seeing her. She also said that she had missed him and looked forward to seeing him. That week, he had sold a motorcycle which Cybl's husband had left in the garage. Cybl said she would come to see him and bring the title and ignition key for the motorcycle.
She did come and once the sale had gone through, she said she was going home because she had made an appointment with a friend for later in the day. Stan was very stunned. Why would she leave when they had not been together for such a long time and why had she not told him this before coming? Cybl became angry under his questioning and said that her friend was expecting her. Stan had no desire to argue with her and was angry too. There not being anything that they were going to discuss or argue about, Cybl left.
But when she arrived home and he called her and asked about her behavior, she said that she could no longer be his significant other. When he asked why that was, her reply was that God had revealed to her that is he continued to have sexual contact with him, she would lose her anointing. Stan was taken aback and he did not ask her what she meant by the remark. It was sufficient for him to understand that she no longer wanted to be romantic with him.
She then dropped the other shoe. She had become intimate with a man in her church who shared her religious beliefs and enthusiasm.
Stan gasped. What? He asked her, "Why couldn't you tell me that when you were here? Why did you have to lie to me?"
She responded weakly, "I thought you would yell at me. I've never been good confronting people and that has gotten me into trouble all my life."
"Little wonder:, he remarked. "You have really hurt me."
"But", she came back at him, "Aren't you the one that told me to look for a new boyfriend in my church?"
"So you are throwing that back in my face. Well maybe I deserve it", he conceded.
Silence at the other end. Then she spoke. "And", she continued, echoing the words of Yeshua, "You did not choose me, but I chose you." [John 15:16]
"What does that have to do with anything? Eventually we chose each other."
Again silence. Then, "God has chosen me to be His ambassador and you will not accept His messiah."
Stan was not unrealistic about what Cybl would do. He knew her to be very dogmatic about her beliefs and very cantankerous when dealing with people in general. He knew that she considered anyone not in conformity with her religious beliefs to be ultimately agents of the diabolic. He knew she had even treated people in her own church badly if she did not like the things they expressed or how they carried themselves. If she so felt contempt for her own, what hope had he?
"So you did want to change me after all. No, I won't accept the Nazarene magician as any kind of a messiah, much less the real Jewish one!"
"No, you won't", she said quietly.
"Well", he added, "I wish you happiness. But I am missing you already. I still love you."
Cybl replied, "I love you too but now that love is different."
"I know", he said. "we'll always be friends. I'd like that."
"Of course", she said.
For the next few weeks they continued to call and email each other but as the summer wore on, those contacts became fewer and fewer. Summer was very sad for him, remembering the summer past when they had done so much together. Towards summer's end, Cybl stopped communicating with Stan altogether. If he called her, texted her, emailed her, he got no response. This really hurt him but there was little he could do. Her promise of ongoing friendship had been a lie but she was not even able to tell him that she felt it best to stop all communication. Maybe her new boyfriend was jealous or maybe she just chose to close that chapter on her life. Time would tell.
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